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A Pretend Friend Can Be a Foe, or Simply Someone You Know
Why Pretend?
There can be all kinds of different reasons why someone might “pretend” to be your friend. Sometimes, it is simply to take advantage of your strengths and talents. For example, if you are someone who is an achiever, others might want to latch on to opportunities to get you to do things for them. I know someone who faced this situation in the workplace. She was really an “overachiever,” so she attracted a lot of “underachievers” as pretend friends. By latching onto the energy and skills of the overachiever, the underachievers were able to build up their own cred, as well as their portfolios of accomplishments, without really having to do the work themselves. What did they do? They latched onto what the overachiever was doing by convincing her to let them be part of her “team,” and they got part of the credit and eased, ever so smoothly, into her light.
I’ve known people who will pretend to be your friend in order to bask in the sunshine of a leader. People who work to get themselves into positions of leadership often find they attract “hangers on” who pretend to be their friends. Instead of actually being there for the leader, however, pretend friends are only there for the fame and glory that often comes with the leadership spotlight. Then, when rough times come around, pretend friends usually disappear. And what’s even worse, if the leader becomes challenged for some reason or other, or if problems occur in the organization that call for the leader being put up to public scrutiny, pretend friends usually will scatter, not unlike cockroaches when a light is turned on. Either they will be nowhere to be found, or they won’t stand in support of the leader they pretended to support in order to stand in his or her light.
Foul Friendship Stinks ...
A most “foul” reason for pretend/fake friendship is when someone does it to get close to another person, in order to destroy that person. I hate that it’s true, but I know it is true, because I’ve seen it happen, in and out of the workplace. Sometimes, pretend friendship of this type will have its origins in jealousy, envy, or just plain old spite—someone pretending to be a friend so they can get close enough to someone else to wreak havoc or destroy them, personally or professionally.
Remember the saying “keep your friends close, and your enemies closer?” Well, you can bet enemies know this saying too, and they will sometimes work as hard as is needed to squirm their way into a “friendship” position, in order to cause harm. Remember, most are expected to be smart enough to keep known or professed enemies away, so that means the best way for a “secret enemy” to get close is by pretending to be your friend. When the end goal is destroy someone, then the best way to learn about someone—their desires, goals, and objectives, is to get close. Then, they can put road blocks in your way to achieving your goals, without you even knowing or suspecting anything at all.
By getting close to you, pretend friends can find out things about you that you would never tell anyone but someone you think of as a friend. Then, once the pretend friend gains all the information they need, they can work against you—and even get ten steps ahead of you in doing so. Remember, you’re considering this person to be your friend, so they’re comfortable knowing they’re among the last persons you would ever suspect of doing any to harm you, or doing something that might allow someone else to harm you.
Question:
1.What kinds of friends you desire to know recently? What is your philosophy to make that new freinds? How would you have your mindset?
2. What kinds of fellows you have intention to ignore them? Why? And How will you do? Please share your experience?
1.What kinds of friends you desire to know recently? What is your philosophy to make that new freinds? How would you have your mindset?
2. What kinds of fellows you have intention to ignore them? Why? And How will you do? Please share your experience?
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